The Last Visit

I took Mom to visit a friend the other day for the last time.  Retired RN's both. They met as roommates in nursing school many moons ago. So long ago in fact they actually had a curfew and room to room bed check. Such was life at the Baptist Hospital School of Nursing in San Antonio, Texas. The dormitories were across the street from the hospital, all single women as marriage was not permitted.  Mom said towards the end of the program a few nurses "snuck off' and got married anyway. 

I have enjoyed meeting several of Mom's nursing school friends and families through the years. A letter received with a new address. A phone call chain when news was grim.  Effort and energy to keep in touch even as military husbands moved some far and often. Encouragement as families grew or fell apart, in sickness and in health. 

Linked together as the perils of nursing school took its toll. Hospital night shifts, early lectures, together 24/7, roommates that came in late from a forbidden date. Somewhere in between that first newborn delivery-so scary and so sacred to the grim task of making a body ready for the morgue these young girls matured into caring, responsible women. 

I marvel at how they stayed in touch without facebook, without the internet. 

It took a deliberate determination worth all the effort as they were/are bound forever kindred spirits. Mere mortals cannot phantom what these nurses, these angels of mercy saw, endured, and cared for nor comprehend the obstacles women in 1950's nursing school had to face. 

Numbers naturally dwindle as years go by. Those RNs willing and able gather in downtown San Antonio for reunions. The Baptist Hospital with several add ons and upgrades in its familiar place. The nursing student dormitories converted into administrative offices. Marital status no longer relevant.  No more bed check.  

One year Mom and Joyce went through those offices and found the space that had been their dorm room. What memories and a surprise to the present occupants. Mom told them how Joyce liked to rearrange the furniture. Mom said she had to be careful not to trip when coming in from a late shift. 

At the most recent reunion Mom's group told the present staff about the tunnel under the street connecting the hospital with the nursing school. Apparently long forgotten. The visiting retired nurses had great fun finding the old door and the tunnel which does still exist. Just no longer used. Mom said they walked thru that tunnel every day. What a great piece of history rediscovered. 

I stood beside them. Mom and Joyce holding hands chatting as friends do. Joyce's only child on her way to move her near grandchildren many states away from lifelong friends and familiar surroundings. 

"I know this is the last time I will see Joyce" Mom said to me in the car. I ponder this as my chest clinches tight.

How do you say goodbye for the last time? I know they feel the same ten ton weight, the walls closing in. But these are old school nurses. Raw emotion is kept private. 

Mom has since talked to Joyce on the phone. Her new apartment, many states away, is next door to her grandchildren.  After 60 years of just dropping by, lunch dates and reunions, phone calls and emails will now have to do. Keeping in touch as always. Thankful for the opportunity. 

Time marches on, Life is full of change, so it goes. kisses

Fall Fell

Not yet twilight I need a flashlight to see out my open window on this wonderfully chilly Friday morning. I look forward to this all Summer.  

Fall officially starts with a color coded dot on my calandar and satanic predictions of a cold front dropping temputures  to the 80'sF . I translate this as 'hell freezing over' and wait patiently.  

God spoke the earth into motion and seasons care not for our dates and deadlines. October is more than half past.  I happen to be outside when it starts.  A breeze gently rattles tree leaves, it picks up a bit stirring brushy brush and disrupting butterflies and such.  I grab a handfull of hair from my face, it is not sticking to my neck.  I take a deep breath as almost suddenly the air has dried up. It is like instant energy. 

Fall finally fell. 

Have a hunky dory Fall Friday. 

I Believe Iris

Some say those we love stay with us after death. The Bible talks about heaven and hell.   A few deny there is a God or the existence of an immortal soul. I think the reason we need to believe or not believe.  Have faith in God or faith in Science is it gives us some sense of control over the inevitable end we have no control over.   What will it feel like?   Will we know it is happening?

That is kind of the scariest part really. That we have no control over how and when we die and no proof positive of the here after.    

No matter how you sort it out. Death and the big nothing or spirits passing from this life to the next. It is all in what you chose to believe.  It is all faith.

A few years ago I was told a story about a woman grieving the loss of her husband.  Her sorrow was so great she wanted to give up on life.  When one evening her living room suddenly lite up with balls of happy light dashing this way and that.  One of the balls spoke to her.  It was her beloved Teddy reassuring her all was well.  He called her by name and spoke of things only she and he had shared. The other balls were friends that accompanied him on this very rare and special visit.  Teddy's parting words, " Iris,  I do not want you to be sad anymore. I am fine.  We travel and you would not believe  all the things I get to do.  The light is our transportation."
Her pastor brushed it off as a dream.  But Iris will tell you she was not asleep.

Way too many times I held the hand of a patient as organ systems shut down.  Heart beats auscultated fewer and farther between.
Until that last breath and an immediate change takes place.
The body becomes an empty shell.                              
I believe Iris. kisses