Joy Ride With Nana

Good Morning, Good Morning!  Bright peaceful sunshine has my whole yard waking up to a new day.  Happy birds are talking, bunnies busy hopping, it is gonna be a terrific Tuesday I just know it.

One of my favorite things is jumping in my truck and hitting the open road, especially if that road leads to my grandchildren.  I have been told repeatedly by my children and one or two others that being a passenger in my vehicle is-not so good.

I remember taking Drivers Education in high school. Classroom work was great but student driving was terrifing.  Unlike my friends my Dad had to practically drag me to the DMV to get my drivers license.  I passed the first time I took the test so I can't be all that bad.  

If I ever win the lottery I think I will hire a driver-full time! kisses

Sleep-Talker

When I was a newlywed, oh so many decades ago, my then husband would talk in his sleep- in Spanish.  Those jittery, sleepless, newelywed nights,  caused me to question the wisdom of the  Flour Bluff Independent School District curriculum makers as to how I got thru grade school never taking a Spanish class and thus only picking up a few phrases like Buenos días, Cómo estás?, and Cómo te llamas? , none of which I ever heard him utter,  as I grabbed the #2 yellow pencil and notepad I kept stashed on my side of the bed to frantically scratch out his mumbo-jumbo. My Spanish speaking friend GiGi Guzman would do her best  to interpret who the man of my dreams was so passionately sleep-talking to in his romantic latin lover accented man voice.  Much to my relief  GiGi said most of it made no sense and sounded like he was fussing with his crew on the flightline, at work.  

I was thinking about my sweet, fun, fellow teenage single Mom, partner in crime, nursing school classmate,  recently and just for grins & giggles googled her name.  The Corpus Christi newspaper obuituary did not do her justice as I starred in regretful, sad, disbelief.  I moved away from my Corpus Christi home over 20 years ago, before facebook and before cell phones kept us more connected.  It was so easy to just lose people back then and I will never get over losing GiGi like that. It seems she passed away in 1999. No wonder my attempts to find her over the years were futile. I have told myself repeatedly, as I talk to myself all the time, that you just cannot keep up with every one! GiGi and I hit it off the first week of nursing school, single Mom's, living with our parents, determined to make a good life for our daughter's. We both had an independent spirit with a deep sense of responsibility for  the beautiful babies we created. That being said, we were also sorta plagued with a wild streak a mile long we fought constantly to control.  We helped each other study hard and encouraged each other thru difficult times. We even started a Single Mother's group at DelMar college with the Dean's permission. Being a single Mom was still a bit scandelous and harshly judged back then but GiGi and I were proud of our children and determined our girls would grow up to be proud of us.  

Maybe someday I will get to see Kristen, GiGi's daughter and tell her some fun stories about her amazing, smart, forward thinking, wisdom beyond her years, Mother.  

I still do not speak Spanish. Sorry GiGi. The next man I marry will just have to not be a sleep-talker.  

Good Nite. kisses

Only God Knows Our Heart

photo by Dale Allen Ball July 30, 2018

Good morning, bright sun shining, happy birds talking, insects busy buzzing and it is gonna be a terrific Tuesday I just know it!  I am up early thinking about how the last several nights the man in the moon seemed almost close enough to touch.  I clicked a couple of pictures with my Iphone 5 and could almost swear he was waving at me causing me to pause and ponder that a picture may say a thousand words but each of us has our own vocabulary, possibly even our own dictionary and most certainly our own unique perspective.

One thing I am still learning is that listening to anothers point of view with an open mind actually feels much better than quickly judging from my limited book of knowledge that I am certain has missing pages cause some of that stuff just makes no sense. Still there is a space I go to, heart guarded in keeping my own values and faith, where every one is important, it is okay to feel what you feel and your beliefs will be respected even when totally different from my own.   I have cringed at the sound of my own voice harshly making judgements and drawing conclusions thinking I was qualified to do so. Bad Steffie! That gives me an awful feeling of regret for saying or even thinking such things.  Only God knows our heart.  

I hope the man in the moon waves at me again tonight.  Peace. kisses

Heart Hurts

Funny how listening to your best girlfriend  talk about her broken heart and how she never saw that coming, suddenly enlightens your own perspective. Sorta like that Windex commercial. Spray a little blue wisdom, wipe away the dirt as your space you realize must be decluttered from those who carry your heart in their box of tools. With the glass free of dirt and smudges that distort and disrupt your comfortable reality, the bright sun shines thru, living area flooded with bold colors, happy birds and outdoor creatures now clearly visable and full of promise, the  leafy green potted plant turns towards the clear glass and grows healthy, while me, I run smack dab , probably breaking my nose cause my whole face really hurts, right into it. Sonic Boom! Wow, sure didn't see that one coming.

What I have figured out is that I have nothing figured out. I am so sorry you are hurting my sweet friend. We can sit up all night, talk out the bad stuff, cry a little(cause someone that hurts you that much is not worth a river of tears), just feel what you feel. Weeping may last through the night but Joy comes with the morning. Pslam 30:5 KJV

Heart hurts are the worst kind. 

Love you for all of my life. kisses