Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Obsessing




Happy belated May Day, hump day, middle of the week day.  Hope you are not hung over from the fifth day and if you are I hope you feel better and have a great day anyway.
I have spent the last 3 weeks with few exceptions in my home-just me, myself and I.  Rethinking, over thinking, always and forever what I could have handled better, should have realized sooner.  Still figuring out there are just some things, lots of things I will never figure out, never understand.  Finally it has dawned on me- It is okay to feel what I feel.  Sad for a moment, frustrated, confused, hurt, feeling kinda dumb, for a minute, 60 seconds, until the sand runs out and the egg timer dings.
 Apparently I was hitting the snooze button over and over, obsessing without feeling, stuck in a rut, like a gerbil on a squeaky wheel, not getting anywhere.  I realized by not letting myself feel hurt and sad and kinda dumb it kept me obsessing over the same old stuff.   Silly me.
Such a simple thing to finally realize.  It has taken some effort but I have my peaceful happy back.
Shit happens. Time marches on.  Life is full of change and I am making plans. kisses