Matthew 21:21-22

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” – Roald Dahl         I think this is the secular way of saying have faith.  My Dad was a preacher.  He studied it in college and his whole life long.  He spoke it, believed it and lived it.  I have never met another pastor like him.  My Dad held a full time job for the government with benefits and regular paycheck mostly because he was just a very responsible man and wanted to make sure his family was provided for but his heart was preaching and serving God.  Taking care of his family, friends, neighbors anyone that needed a helping hand seemed to be how Dad lived each day.  We were always active church members in the denomination he was ordained in.  I guess it was about the time I got into junior high a small country church, in a town about 50 miles away, he had helped to establish as a young seminary student, asked him to return.  The original pastor was ready to retire.  The congregation was small so attracting a full time pastor was probably not gonna happen.  They needed someone to care about them, preach on Sunday, visit the homebound, hold a hand and pray before surgery, funerals, weddings, a shoulder to lean on, someone with encouraging words and wise counsel all for pretty much gas money and maybe a little extra when they could manage it.  My Dad was ecstatic.  Convincing my Mom was another thing.  She never liked sharing my Dad’s time.  I was not ever quite sure what she thought being a pastor’s wife was all about but I guess that was between them.  I just know for the next 6 years or so I went with my Dad every Sunday to the little country church while my Mom continued to go, taking my little brother and sister with her, to the local church we used to attend as a family.  My Dad saw ‘magic’ and happiness in everything.  If it bothered him that Mom divided our family on Sundays, I never heard him verbalize it.  I just know he and I had the best times ever.  I loved those people and they sure did love my Dad.  He had the kind of faith that could move mountains.  I hope I will always have his glittering eyes.  kisses 

I feel fine

Good Morning, Good Morning.  It is the day after the end of the world.  “It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine”, as made famous by Skeeter Davis in the hippie 60’s & later REM in the hair band 80’s, keeps ringing in my head. Holy Cow, more has happened to me in the last 2 years than in my whole life put together.  So if the world had really ended like the Mayan calendar, well, I suppose that would have been okay; not really, but I guess no choice.  I have kinda pondered how the leap to the end of the world happened anyway.  Just because the Mayan’s stopped counting or ran out of room or time to calculate or whatever; why is it supposed that it means the end of the world?  I just feel that thinking is quite a leap or huge drawing of conclusions.  I have heard there are whole documentaries on the subject explaining somewhat plausible scenarios to the end of the world as it relates to the Mayan calendar.  So I guess I will repeat a part of the song… ‘I feel fine’.  I hope you feel fine too and have a very Merry weekend.  kisses 

Granny's Christmas

My Granny loved making Christmas special for her grandchildren.  Each year from the time we were tall enough to stand on a chair in the kitchen Granny would show me, and my little sister how to make sugar cookie dough from scratch.  Granny’s kitchen utensils were each a story in themselves and I will save that for another day.  I loved rolling out the dough on wax paper.  I thought wax paper was just the most amazing invention. Using just the right amount of flour so the dough would not stick to her special wooden rolling pin, the one with the spinning handles, the aluminum cookie cutters wrapped in Christmas red tissue paper, were taken from the place in the kitchen drawer where they hibernated all the other days of the year.    Let’s see, there was a Christmas tree, a reindeer in flight, a star, and a Santa Clause face.  My Granny was an accomplished colored icing maker.  She took those little bottles of food coloring and made a flesh tone for Santa’s face, different colored ornaments that stood out on the deep green of the Christmas trees and a nice brown fur color for the reindeer in flight with a bright red color spot for the nose.  The icing was of course made from scratch with powered sugar and always the perfect consistency. I have never in my adult life been able to stir up Granny’s home made icing and have it come out just like hers. My sister and I thought those were the best Christmas cookies in the wide world and Granny made us feel like she could not do it without us.  Adorning Granny & PawPaw’s house with treasured traditional decorations was just the greatest fun.  Our favorite was a golden colored bell with a string to pull for it to play a medley of Christmas carols.  Granny would have Paw Paw tie it to the chandelier that hung in the center of their living room.  We would take turns having PawPaw lift us up to pull the string.  My Mother still has this bell but the string has long since broken and so my kids do not get to hear the music but I still can.  kisses 

'the holidays'

It is a beautiful sunshine breezy November Tuesday after Thanksgiving day.  So now it’s ‘the holidays’.  Never have I looked it up in the dictionary but this seems to be how we refer to those days from Thanksgiving, Christmas Day in the middle to the New Year’s Day finale.  The news channels over the weekend were busy with stories of shoppers gone wild.  Retailers in an attempt to boost end of year sales drop prices on select apparently desirable products inspiring working class consumers to pitch tents to ensure taking home what would otherwise be unaffordable.  There is nothing I can think of offhand that I want that bad.  I guess for those in the lines the payoff is worth it and I guess you have to admire their determination.  Gotta get those Christmas cards started.  I am making a list and checking it twice.  Have a super duper holiday week.  kisses  

Eve's

I love December.  I think December is the most amazing month of the year after all it has the two most wonderful, amazing Eve’s, Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve.  I always thought the best part of Christmas is the Eve.  My childhood is filled with memories of Christmas lights, presents under the Christmas tree, and going to bed to dream of how Santa would find a way into our home without a chimney.  Christmas Day everything would be a mess of wrapping paper and a mad rush to get to relatives house for Christmas Dinner. Gathering with those you see once a year I suppose is a good thing but I always found it uncomfortable. Christmas Eve is like the calm before the storm.  The last time to enjoy the tree and decorations before the Christmas morning chaos.  New Year’s Eve is a night I start thinking of months in advance. Sure will not be the same this year without Dick Clark.  I still want to spend a New Year’s Eve in New York so I can see the ball drop in person.  Whatever plans I cannot phantom sleeping thru that magical moment when one year ends and the next begins. I hope your Eve’s are simply wonderful this year.  It is a beautiful December day and I getting outside.  kisses 

Losses, Balance and Life

What I want is coming clear.  Who I want is probably gonna have to change.  It has been so difficult for me to realize that I am important. My feelings and my hopes, dreams and plans for the future matter even if only to me.  I have said for a long time, you feel how you feel.  This is true I still believe but I can no longer let a feeling rule my life.  Plus when I look back I do not like what I see.  Time to wake up and smell the coffee, Steph.  The thing is trying to find the balance between having real feelings, when to forgive, when is it okay to trust again and when are those feelings just way too wrong and time to cut my losses and move on.  Such is life in the typical day of Steffie’s small world.  I would not have it any other way.  kisses   Photography by Mike Jameson

Precious Life

Life is so very fragile and so very precious.  My very longest closest friend called this morning to let me know her sweet Mother had major surgery last night.  She sounded very positive as Flour Bluff people usually do but I know the seriousness of that kind of surgery.  Most of us realize we will probably out live our parents.  Truth being this is realized head knowledge.  Heart knowledge is something else all together.  Well, heart is not geared for knowledge at all.  Heart is all feelings and emotions, fairy tails, hopes and dreams.  So important to make those memories, make time for what is truly important. I have started making it a point to be a little less ‘closed off’ and more open about what I feel, how I feel and what I want.  My Mom is still living and I told her the other day I really appreciate the firm foundation she provided for me growing up.  She seemed truly surprised.  She thanked me for letting her know she got something right.  Wow, she really needed to hear that.  I felt bad I had not ever told her but I guess I am learning to appreciate every thing just a little bit more.  I guess that is part of life after 40 or rather 50.  Life is full of change.  My Dad taught me to always have a plan and never give up.  More recently I have grabbed onto a phrase from a close friend-keep moving forward.  That pretty much sums it up.   No one is promised tomorrow.  It is beautiful November weather.  Love you guys, kisses.  

Thursday Day

It is a beautiful Fall Thursday day.  I so love this time of year.  I still do not have the job I wanted. One thing I have learned over this past year if I did not already know is that there is a timing for things, a definite order. Maybe God is in control-of some stuff at least.  I do know He takes care of me.  I do also know He seems to send just the right people with just the right stuff just when I need them most. I had the most wonderful day yesterday. Just the right friend showed up and made just every little thing seem alright and even better. Its a wonderful life! Time to get ready for Fun Friday.  kisses

Husband Talk

I love to hear husbands talk to their wives on the phone. Their voice softens, body language even kinda gets giddy and goodbyes are ended with ‘I love you’.  One of the most beautiful scenes etched in my mind was this couple that visited my Dad’s church.  They must have been in their 80’s at least.  You know the kind of couple married so long they even look alike.  They appeared to me to be equally fragile, almost transparent pale fair skin, white hair, both of them tall very thin and dressed in Sunday best.   He walked beside her and held her arm to be seated.  When the communion tray was passed he served her first and at the end of the service assisted her to stand.  It seemed his whole focus was her safety, her comfort first.  I wondered if this was always or something realized later in the relationship.  No matter I guess.  These days what I had imagined for my life at this point, in the way of relationship status, and reality are very different.  Not bad, just different.  The softened voice on the other end of the line just never happened for me and at my age I am thinking it probably won’t.  My kids and grandkids are pretty attached to me and they do not like to share so I suppose just as well.  Maybe I should not share me either-sounds so silly!  So it goes.  I love this weather and right now I am headed outside to enjoy it.  Have a happy Tied up November Tuesday.   kisses 

Sunday Preachers and Pancakes

When I was growing up Sunday morning was Mom cooking pancakes, Dad singing thru the house trying to get us kids up and moving and he was usually in a very good mood.  My friends ask me now how I can always be so happy.  Well, I grew up in a happy peaceful home. Not that we did not have our rough patches like everyone else but more often than not my Dad was singing or laughing and Mom while not like Dad, was at least peaceful and quiet.  Dad would tune in the TV preachers.  I say tune in cause TV’s had that tuner button and rabbit ears.  There was a knob to turn just to stop the rolling lines that seemed to be part of life watching TV. That knob even sometimes worked if you turned it the opposite of the way the lines were rolling and if you are under 40 you probably have no idea what I am talking about.  We have come a long way baby.  Rex Humbard and Maude Aimee were my favorites.  My Dad’s favorite I think was Oral Roberts that is until Robert Schuller came along.  My parents made trips to visit both Oral in Oklahoma and Robert Schuller’s Crystal Cathedral in California.  I’m sure they are/were good men but I only ever looked forward to good ole Rex and his wife.  They just seemed more real to me.  Now I try to catch Joel Osteen on my TV.  No rollie tuner knob needed but I still use rabbit ears.  Joel is very different from those old time preachers.  He is like a big cheerleader and refreshing that he is not constantly asking for money.  He does use the Bible and never resorts to fire and brimstone like in the ‘old days’.  You know I think the church going generation before us thought a dose of ‘fire and brimstone’ was needed to keep everyone in line.  I never liked it.  I think we need encouragement and just good examples.  Well, Jesus is our example but you know what I mean.  We just all do the best we can and keep trying to do it better, every day in every way.  Love you guys, Happy Sunday Morning. kisses 

I Love November

I love November.  I love how the weather starts to change getting cooler and breezier and less humid.  I have never lived where the trees do much of anything different but I have visited those places and tree leaves do just amazing things.  I tried to cook Thanksgiving dinner most years for my family when my children were growing up.  Both of my grandmothers were such excellent traditional cooks.  I have never measured up but I did give it a go.  My girls are really good at carrying on tradition.  Tradition I think is important for families.  It is sort of part of that glue that holds you all together and gets you thru tough times.  I like to put up the Christmas tree right after Thanksgiving and leave it up till after New Years.  November begins and I start getting excited at the thought of Thanksgiving dinner, get really serious about Christmas presents for grandkids and Christmas cards!  I have gotten so bad about cards.  When I was first married I had a system in my address book for Christmas cards.  Somehow I let that go by the wayside but this year I want to start that again.  I love getting Christmas cards so then I guess I should send some.  It is November and time to get started.  Hope you have traditions and if not I hope you start at least one this year.  Cause if you start this year then next year you will have a tradition to do again, something to look forward to, maybe plan for a little and help glue you to those around you.  Have a beautiful, cool weather, breezy day. kisses 

Time Passes Too Fast

I miss my kids being kids.  It just went by way too fast.  My parents warned me that would happen. Mom says "Time marches on".  I really did try and take heed but the closest thing to a handbook life gives you is those little tidbits of wisdom passed down from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, the wise old guy down the street, the Luby's lady with the blue eye shadow and bouffant hair do-pretty much anyone 5 minutes or more older than you are.  My kids have thanked me for stuff I told them. That is a pretty cool feeling. I did not realize I actually 'know' something. That is a story I will save for another day.  Enjoy today, every minute, everyone in it. Time passes too fast. Don't you wish we could slow it down a little?  Thanks Mom & Dad.  kisses

Happy Halloween-ween

Happy Halloween-ween!  It is a beautiful fall day.  I miss the Halloween I had as a kid.  Friends my age-you know what I mean.  The real Halloween-ween.  Making our own costumes was a huge part of the fun.  Some years we planned for weeks, consulted with each other, eves dropped, got Grandparents involved-pretty good stuff!  Some years it seemed to sneak up on us-those were the 'Hobo' or 'Ghost' years.  I know your picturing it now.  My Dad would take us after dark with a flashlight.  No sidewalks on our street-oh horrors!  We knew to stay out of the way of cars and of course they drove slow and watched for us.  It was the one night of the year you got to see every one that lived in the neighborhood.  Not too many surprises there but Flour Bluff had a military base and us locals were always happy to meet 'the new ones'.  It was just as fun to pass out the candy after hearing "Trick or Treat. Smell my feet. Give me something good to eat".  Times they are a changing as Bob Dylan says. I wish some things just stayed the same way.  Have a Happy Halloween. kisses

Dad's Voice

It is a beautiful cool weather happy October day.  I love this weather.  I tried to call my Mom earlier and her answering machine picked up.  My Dad’s voice came on the line and I felt so happy and then I teared up.  My Dad passed from this world to the next almost 2 years ago.  I asked my Mom to leave his message on the answering machine.  My kids tell me the same thing that I do…if we call and the machine picks up we call back at least once more just to hear Dad’s/PawPaw’s voice.  Something about Dad’s voice was always so wonderful.  He would say to me ‘Hello Pumpkin’.   There is no one to call me Pumpkin anymore.  I guess that is silly for a 51 year old woman to say but I was never grown up to my Dad.  I miss him so much.  He was the best Dad in the wide world. He had a ‘regular’ job while us kids grew up but he went to TCU (Texas Christian University) and graduated with a double major, to be able to Pastor a church and he was always a Preacher at heart.  He is the only man I know that truly lived what he preached every day the very best he could and was always trying to do it better.  I learned so much just from his example.  I still am in wonder at how he chose to be a preacher.  I really think God chose him.  He had just the coolest family ever but they were not ‘religious’ and the only mention of church around my Grandmother and Great Aunt was talk of the Christian Science Reading Room.  It is the Friday before Halloween and I have a super cute costume.  Hope everybody has a party or a place to go have some Halloween fun!    kisses 

Feel Real

Today I will feel what I feel and try to keep it real.  I think so much of what we feel is a decision we make in how we look at things.  Since I was old enough to listen to adults talk I was always perplexed at those that said, usually over and over, “I have lots of problems”.   I don’t think I have ever had a problem.  I was taught early on that God loves us and even though some times bad things happen it is all part of life and something good can come out of even the worst stuff.  Cause, well, Jesus loves us and every little thing will be all right, simple as that.  I have recently let myself question some of  those things I tried to question as a kid and was told “Steffie, stop being so rebellious.”   “Steffie, Don’t question God!”.   Well I do have lots of questions cause lots of stuff just does not make sense to me or it seems just really mean hearted or unfair and gives me that yucky down deep feeling that it is just not right.  Like, ‘God is in control’.   If that is true then I do not think he is doing a very good job of it.  Just common sense or if you have ever watched the 10 o’clock news how could you not question that statement.   Another one is the no sex before marriage rule.  Like really?  Talk about a man’s world.  I wanna know what I am spending the rest of my life with and while sex is not everything it is really important. I think this rule was most certainly made up by men with very small penises or homosexual.   When God said go into all the world and preach the Gospel I do not think that was a business model to have Americans with real jobs support ‘missionaries’ that go to Peru and dress the natives in Wal-Mart clothes, pump them with our medication and tell them that what they have been doing for the last thousand years is all wrong.  America has been around for only 200 years and look what we have accomplished-so much better than jungle natives… yeah, right, whatever!  I just don’t buy it.    This next one really gets my goat ‘God never gives you more than you can handle’.  Is that even in the Bible?  I have heard that statement said during horrifying situations by well meaning otherwise nice people.  Can I be the only one that realizes what that statement implies?      So that I guess is how I feel today.  Tomorrow is another day.  Since I don’t make the rules....Today I will feel what I feel.  kisses         Photography by Michael Jameson

Music & Memories

I am up after midnight for some odd reason and watching that music video channel.  You know, the free one since I refuse to pay for cable.  But I will save that story for another day.  They have an advertisement for ‘Singer and Songwriters Collection’ from the 60’s and 70’s.   How very groovy.   Music must be hardwired into our souls I guess.  I love how I can hear a song that instantly transports me to another place in time and all without a Flux Capacitor.    Carol King “I Feel the Earth Move ” –I am back in Lisa Wilkey’s bedroom listening to her turn table with the plastic thingy in the middle that you push down for 33 1\3 albums or pull up for the 45’s.  She is so cool cause she had that Carole King album, Tapestry.  I loved every song and so did she.      Peace Train-I am with Kathy Armstrong, we knew each other from church youth group, and we are talking about how Cat Stevens might be a Christian.   Fleetwood Mac is just a flood of many memories.   My boyfriend from high school, David said our song was England Dan and John Ford Coley-‘I’m Not Talkin About Moving In’.   So silly to think of now since we were in like 9^th and 10^th grade and never even talked about ‘moving in’.  My favorite I think is James Taylor with Carole King a close second, Jim Croche, Bread, America, Dan Fogelberg, Paul Simon, Peter Paul and Mary, Janice Joplin, just on and on.  John Denver singing ‘Country Roads’ takes me to the Volunteer Fire Station on Laguna Shores Road in Flour Bluff.  The brave Firemen let us kids have ‘recreation’ there all summer.   This nice lady named Kathy would play her guitar and we would sing along. I think her name was Kathy.  I remember she had big beautiful eyes with dark blue eye shadow, late 60’s hairdo-short, teased on top, and never ever was impatient with us.  What an awesome lady.  I don’t know what ever happened to her.  I know she worked at Flour Bluff as a secretary.  Flour Bluff was the greatest place ever to grow up.  Have a groovy singing in the sunshine day. Why dontcha put on some Dion, Don Mclean or The Mama’s and the Papa’s, and see if Flower Power, hitch hiking long haired hippie boys with Army surplus back packs, yellow smiley face buttons, pet rocks/pet socks, MIA/POW bracelets, maybe Bobby Sherman posters, green shag carpet and bald Hari Krishna's dressed in sheets with big smiles selling flowers in the airport don’t just start dancing before your eyes.  Neat-O,  I can dig it!  Peace  kisses 

Grandkids R Great !

Grandkids are just the greatest things ever in the world.  If I would have known how great having grandkids would be I just might have had more children.  But then again maybe not since the two are not always directly related.  Well, sort of related since you do need at least one child to produce a grandchild but anyway....    One of my children has all boys and another of my children has all girls.  Like, go figure how that happened?   I don't know, I don't make the rules!  I just enjoy the results.    My grown up chilldren have been rather unhappy with my current life choices-you know since my life does not revolve completely around them anymore.  But not those grandkids.  They love Nana to pieces, they love my new tattoos, my leather boots and just anything at all since I am Nana!  Life as a grandmother is not how I had once pictured it and not at all like my Grandmothers.  I loved my Grandmother's to pieces also and I still miss them.   That being said it seems that times have changed somewhat in how we age or something.  Well that is a story for another day.   I just know I color my hair, plan on more tattoos and my new bikery attire from the Harley shop is really cute!  Have a beautiful fun Manic Monday.    Grandma Rocks!!   kisses 

Rainy Day Monday

 I love rainy day Mondays!   What a magnificent day of the week to rain.  Rain is a good thing.  I love the smell of it, the sound of it and gheez the very fact that we cannot very well live without it.  The Bible uses rain and water as symbols of life and power.  I use it as fun !   It fills up my pool, my yard turns into the jungle it was ment to be and tubing down the Medina River,  Frio River , or mighty Guadalupe is better than any Theme park ride anyday ever !     Rainy days and Mondays always make me cry...Ummm Nope, not this girl.  Singing in the rain, oh yes.  I don't know why I see people, well usually always grown-ups running in the rain.  Are they running away from it?  I kinda don't think running in the rain will keep you from getting wet.  In fact I would tend to think you might stay drier if you walked cause running causes those puddles to splash really big, all up and over your shoes and sometimes even to your knees if you run like I do.  Puddles of mud are a wonderful byproduct of rainy days as are loud croaking toads, and resultant tadpoles.  Go sing in the rain and jump in a mud puddle while you still can.  This is Texas and you never know when we will have another chance.  Thanks for Buckets of Rain-Bob Dylan, and Who'll Stop the Rain- CCR, I sure like those Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head-BJ Thomas.  kisses                 Photography by Michael Jameson

Happy Birds

Good and happy sunshine Saturday morning.  I am in beautiful Port Aransas, Texas or as coastal locals call it- Port A.   I can see the beautiful surf, hear the laughing seagulls just outside our  condo window.  I love beach birds.  I believe beach birds are the happiest birds on earth.  How could they not be?  They get to live at the beach!  When I was a little kid I would try and run with the sandpipers.  They are the cutest things and I think the ADD of the shore bird world.  With their short little stick legs they run run run only to suddenly stop and poke their beak in the sand.  Then like they are late to a very important date... it is run run to a new spot then back to the previous and that goes on all day.       The seagulls are the hippie's of the shore bird world.  Seagulls are happy, go lucky, always laughing without a care.  Their nest could even be called a 'hippie hut' as it is usually just 'whatever' thrown together close to shore, comfortably messy-everyone welcome.      Now, the brown pelican is quite a magnificent sight as they fly just above the whitecaps in small groups then dive sometimes up to 30 feet into the surf for the catch of the day.  When he lands on your boat or balcony.  Folding up those huge now awkward wings, so graceful and magnificent while flying is a sight.  Should you have a fish in your hand he just might walk, no waddle right up and clack his 11 to 13 inch bill expecting your dinner to now be his.  So brown pelicans to me are the actors/comedians of the shore bird world.   Happy beautiful  first day of Autumn!  Hope you get to run with the sandpipers.  kisses

Not, friends & lovers

The moon is so bright tonight.  Not a full moon, maybe a really large man slice of pie moon but shiny bright just the same.   I am figuring out that I do not have anything figured out.  Life long friendships have apparently been pretty much one sided.  Long term relationships have been a figment of my imagination and not a real relationship at all.  Once again I find myself, oh I don't quite know how to describe the feeling...sort of off balance, like in the fun house at a carnival.  In fact so much has happened that is just so far and beyound my comprehension, like it is not as bad as it seems but worse than I will ever know.  I am totally at a loss.  Sensory overload?  That is a yes.  Am I overwhelmed to the point of unable to make one more life, relationship or what's for dinner decision?  That is a definite yes, I think, let me ask...I feel like if I can figure out why someone does what they do then I can deal with it, accept it or get away from it but I am okay.  I just had no idea there are so many people out there, well not out there, in my space, with evil, malicious, and just way hurtful motives.  What I currently have so much trouble wrapping my mind around is I have allowed myself to be treated as a tool, a means to an end, kept around for what I can provide, nothing more.  I know I have seen good, felt a connection, but only on my side apparently.   I am not angry. I do not do things to get something back but is does seem like give and take on both sides is how it should be.  It is so, oh I don't know, just  sad maybe.  Well for about a minute.  I guess there are some things I will just never understand.  I do not want to waste my precious energy and valuable time with hurt feelings on what I cannot change, or fix or even begin to understand.  I just cannot dwell on puky stuff.   Peace, kisses

Days Like This

Days like this.  One moment I am so relieved the mixed up puzzle pieces of my life seem to be starting to fit together.  The next moment some part of the reality I work so hard to dismiss just glares at eye level and bores right into my here and now.  Quickly I flick that switch hoping it works.  I want to bring the happy, feel the peace, see only the good.  I do not deal well with conflict, or emotional pain or even everyday worry.  I chose to not acknowledge those in a hurry, those that betray and things that harbor confusion.  If I ignore what I have difficulty understanding or what causes me the kind of sadness only my spirit can shed the tears then surly it will not truly exist-there will not be Days Like This!

Happy Sunshine Labor Day America

Ding and Dong, from the nearest large city morning news show that comes in clearly on my digital flat screen TV with the rabbit ears,  are on this morning.  I should not probably call them that but since they are on a network channel that streams thru a large part of Texas it seems like they would check their facts a little better or it is amazing to me, they I am sure went to college and do not seem to know what Labor Day is about.   They keep talking like it is flag day and honoring the military, they even did a piece with the Dixie Flag Company and talked about San Antonio having such a large military presence.  While that is very nice and all,  Labor Day is to pay tribute to the contribution American workers have made to make our country strong and prosperous.  United States Department of Labor has a very nice easy to read definition with a short history of how Labor Day came to be not to mention if you google just reams of information are available.   Well,  I am just a small town American girl from Flour Bluff, Texas.  I am thankful our working teachers took pride in making sure Flour Bluff kids knew what Labor Day was all about, plus my Dad usually told us kids why he was home for a Federal holiday.  According to the United States Census Bureau we are celebrating 155.2 million people that are 16 and over, June 2012,  in our nation's labor force.            So to the American worker, dock workers, ship builders, Tugboat Captains, truck drivers, bartenders-especially at the 90 West Bike Stop, construction workers, hair dressers, song writers, musicians, computer programmers, actors, teachers, telephone telemarketers (yes I know), janitors, cooks, grocery store checkers and managers, waitresses, mechanics, builders of fishing cabins and deer blinds, HVAC workers, farmers, ranchers and even you-Ding and Dong fluffy hair silly journalist majors in the newsroom of the local TV morning show, here's to you-thank you for all you do everyday all year long, you are what make America great, Thank you Thank you!  Have a nice day of rest and fun-no work today!  kisses

Happy Blue Moon

Hope you are having a Freaky Friday and are planning to dance nekked in the Full Blue Moonlight tonite !!  It is once in a Blue Moon tonight, in case you have not heard, which just means that we have two full moons in one month.  The next one is supposed to be in 2015.  I think that is just the coolest thing ever and I plan to be outside soaking up all the moonlight I can.  The moon does do all kinds of crazy things to people or maybe it is that people do all kinds of crazy things cause the night is lit up with bright moonlight.  It was streaming in my extra large, double paned, bedroom windows so bright last nite I kept looking out hoping to see a Werewolf or live porcupine each very rare here in Texas.  Ohhh, that just made me think of a sad thing...road kill is always way up during the full moon.  Watch out for the little critters.  I gotta get busy.  Find mischief tonight and there is a parade in Bandera, Texas in the morning with Native Americans and Real Cowboys and longhorn cattle and everything !!!       Hope you get to 'Dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight' (not really the Devil unless your into that) tonight.   kisses

News of the World

It is after 12 noon and here I sit on my kinda comfortable almost soft, not sure what this material is, brown sofa.  I just put in my favorite Emmylou Harris CD-Red Dirt Girl.  I love every song but Red Dirt Girl kinda hits...you know what I mean?  Emmylou wrote most of the songs on this CD including Red Dirt Girl.  Flour Bluff had the very best high school English teachers on earth when I went there in the 70's.  Mrs. Chapman, Mrs. Briedwell, Mrs. Polk could have devoted several days, weeks or months even, to class discussion on all the different literary aspects - time in history, phases of life, family dynamics, mental illness, small town culture and all that goes with it to this one song-pure poetry.  One of the lines 'there won't be a mention in the news of the world of the life and the death of a red dirt girl' is so true.  I was sad to hear one of the most interesting men and quite a character,  I have ever met passed away last week  in my red dirt town.  My small Texas town does not have its own newspaper.   News of our town is included in a supplement from a newspaper, that comes out once a week,  in the town 15 miles on down U.S. Route 90.    Obituaries are posted on the doors of local businesses, Scotch taped to the drive up pharmacy window at the Lowes Super S and the Post Office bulletin board.  That is the news of our world today-from last week.  By the time I heard 'Super Sonic' had passed away his funeral was over and just the usual 'so sad' comments and stories of his antics passed around in the local coffee shops.  'Super Sonic' was of course a nickname and how he introduced himself to me about 3 or 4 years ago.  Nicknames are common in Texas but I will save that for another day. I'm off to see another character, larger than life, preform in the big city of San Antonio.  He might just be mentioned in the news of the world some day.  But no matter, he matters to us and this is our world, my world and we matter!  kisses

Summer daze, Hurricane's

Good Monday Morning friends, family, neighbors, & general public I have not had the pleasure to meet yet.  The morning news is all a buzz with hurricane updates on Isaac.  Information of note to me is Isaac is predicted to make land fall 7 years to the day after Katrina.  Sort of a strange coincidence but maybe not so strange as September tends to be the busiest hurricane month with August coming in second.  I remember leaving Corpus Christi on August 3rd, 1970 just as Hurricane Celia was blowing in and most people were behind boarded up doors and windows.  Not us!  We were rocking and rolling in the family camper truck.  My Dad with his usual confidence that the Lord told him to get his family away from the storm and thus so we would reach our destination safely, no worries!  My Mom with her usual mistrust of his happy go lucky, trust the Lord, every little thing will be alright confidence.  Dad was smiling and breaking out in song from time to time while Mom was making her fear and probably a little terror known pretty much non-stop.  'Steve, are you sure we are not going to tump over, the camper is really rocking?'   'STEVE, there are no other cars on the road. Should we really be out here in this?'.            ' Relax Margie, the Lord told me to go so I'm going.  We will be fine. It's just a little wind.  Sit back and enjoy the ride.'     Mom did not enjoy the ride!  Us kids went back and forth from being scared when Mom was talking to 'enjoying the ride' while Dad was reassuring.   The drive home was almost as eventful as the closer we got to Corpus the more damage we saw.  Gas Station attendants  gave us free gas when they found out we lived in Flour Bluff.  Telephone lines and electricity were out so no way to find out ahead of time what condition our home was in.  Dad was sure we would find the sturdy little house he had built intact .  Mom was sure it would be leveled,  no roof or surely some kind of awful damage.  I remember driving past the Surf Drive-In on Ayers street.  Debris scattered everywhere, that huge drive-in screen completely demolished,  but Gone With the Wind was neatly lettered on the strangely intact marquee. Someone's idea of a joke no-doubt.  But I think a much needed comic relief in all the devastation.  The little wooden house my Dad had built for his bride was totally fine.  While several newer houses on our block lost roof's, windows and sustained major water damage.      Al Roker is on again with an update.  Keep those in Isaac's path in your thoughts and prayers.   Peace & kisses

I Am Woman

I was just reminded about August 26th, 1920 the day the 19th Amendment to the United States Constitution became law.  When my children were young teenagers we would sing in our 1988 Ford Aerostar minivan, painted in Dallas Cowboy football colors,  pretty much any time we climbed in.  We all loved that van but that is a story for another day.    I had the Helen Reddy song 'I Am Woman' on a cassette tape.  I made sure my girls knew all the words and any little friends they had with them too.  I was fortunate that for being a conservative and proud of the title  'housewife'  my Mom was quite forward thinking when it came to women's rights.  She was an RN and made the decision with my Dad to stay home and take care of us kids.  I told my girls about my Grandmother's, one of them had a college degree and the other always ran her own business while raising a child on her own.  I explained to my girls and any little girls in the car that this was not usually accepted in that era.  They had strong, forward thinking and very independent Grandmothers. I told them about Grandma, my Mom, trying to get a credit card in the 70's in her name.  She was told that since she was married it would have to be in her husband's name.  My Mom was shocked at this denial of what she saw as acknowledging her as an individual and would just not accept it.  She was diligent,  wrote letters and made phone calls for about a year or more, she would not let up.  Finally she was granted a credit card in her name.  Our young women in 2012 have rights, freedom and protection because of the forward thinking, courage and diligence of our Mom's, Grandmother's and Great Grandmother's.  I think it is so important that we pass these stories down to our young people...otherwise...how will they know??  kisses

One Giant Leap

Good sunshine & awesome Summer Sunday day!   I heard on the news last nite about Neil Armstrong passing from this world to the next.  What a great loss for us mere mortals and especially Americans.  He was one of our true hero's and last of the few real role models.  I remember sitting in the living room with my Dad, Mom, brother and sister in front of our black and white TV with the rabbit ears.  The grainy screen and scratchy speakers bringing to us the most important event ever!  My Dad had set his Argus C2 up on a tripod to try and capture the event on film.  Dad had read Buck Rogers as a kid and landing on the moon was just almost unbelievable and most certainly a miracle, science fiction coming true, Wow!  My Dad, God bless him, kept shushing us and Lord help us if we tripped over that tripod.  I remember feeling that this must be very important for Dad to be making such a big deal of it.  I had always been fascinated by the 'man in the moon' mostly cause my Dad was always pointing it out and talking about the night sky.  There is a framed, signed photograph in my Dad's study of Neil Armstrong and the rest of that crew.  So long Neil Armstrong.  I salute you, your bravery, your courage and your strength of character.  The man in the moon is finally home.  kisses

Black/White

My parents were/are see the world in black and white.   No if any grey area.  White or black, right or wrong, sinner or saint.  That being true they of course hung out with like minded souls and that was my world for quite some time.  Time passed and I grew older-teenager and finally young adult.  During that time I was exposed to many new kinds of thinking and ways of life.  I started realizing I did not agree with the black/white thing.   Some things they thought were black were actually white in my eyes and there was all kinds of shades of grey or to me bright blue,  radiant red and sunshine yellow.  Grey is much too drab to compare to life.   Sometimes, when I was feeling brave and maybe a little Mountain Dew high ventured to question my parents beliefs.  Like "If God is in control He sure is not doing a very good job of it".   That went over like a lead balloon.  In church youth group which I loved and am thankful for most of the fun times and life lessons, they would have every now and then a tearful 'foot washing' service in which they had to wash each others feet in some sort of prayerful manor.  I say 'they' cause I never participated in that.  I'm sure I was on the 'Steffie is going thru a rebellious stage' ladies weekly prayer list.  I did not mean to be rebellious I just did not see what all the tearful drama was about and the thought of  washing a teenage boy's feet kinda creeped me out not to mention I like to keep my feet to myself.  Now I am all grown up with my own grown up kids.  I tried to be more of a free thinker with them and hopefully encouraged them to question...everything.  Now, I do have beliefs and convictions in Black/White, Bright Blue's, Sunshine Yellow's and Radiant Red's!  Love you my friends.  kisses

Good Foundation

Good Morning Good Morning.  It is a bright sunshiny Summer Friday day!  I love Friday's.  You know TGIF and all that stuff.  Somehow Friday brings the promise of a good time and the anticipation of plans talked about all week for a fun filled Saturday and Sunday.         I am so blessed to have good friends that watch out for me and are super fun.  Not one buzz kill in the bunch.  Things got a little rowdy last nite but no worries.  I know I am always safe.   I even have already gotten a phone call and a few text checking on my where a bouts and making sure I am okay.  So way cool.  My Memaw used to tell me..as she was putting on her girdle...'Steffie, never go out without a good foundation'.   I know she was using that as an object lesson.  Memaw was good for that.  I do have a good foundation thanks to her and my other set of Grandparents and my parents.  I hope I provided some of that for my kids.  I know I did not do as well but hopefully they have enough to figure out the rest.  You guys have a good weekend and make sure you provide your young'uns with a good foundation.  kisses

Comfort Zone

Happy Happy Sunshine Saturday.    It is really a bright dodger blue,  sunshiny, fluffy white marshmallow clouds,  flying birds and singing insects kind of day.  Before I go jump in my pool I am thinking and trying not to stress about some of my recent life choices.  They are really not recent decisions it is just that the time has come to put them into action.  Somehow no matter how much I think I am planning ahead I end up down to the wire.  But hey,  I think I work best under pressure!  I thank God, Jesus, my parents, perfect brother, pretty great little sister, grown up and doing well children,  guardian angel and all the friends that somehow put up with me that I am incredibly blessed.  I am also a believer in karma so maybe I have done one or two things in my life pretty okay, course that leaves all the rest so I know the heavy foot can fall at any time....oopsey!  Someone I used to respect a whole lot used to tell me-Gotta keep moving forward.  I like that.  Gotta keep moving and doing something different is so important to me.  Getting out of my comfort zone for me is difficult but I know I must to have the life I want.  Still kinda figuring out the details of what I want but I have a general idea and it is getting more detailed all the time.  You guys get outside!  We all need our vitamin D.  kisses

I was a waitress

Hope you are having a fun freaky Summer Friday night.  My waitress career lasted 2 whole days.   The first day, after the insane mind numbing lunch rush and cleaning up the carnage left behind afterward-I left an hour early.  My back hurt, I was pooped, I was hot and sweaty and yucky and just done for the day.  The 2nd day I was asked to leave- after the mind numbing rush and cleaning up the carnage left behind afterward.   Well, that was fun and I can say I was a waitress-for 2 whole days.  Now on to something else.  Dum de dum de dum...what to do, what to do?  There must be something out there I can do.  I will have to think on this a bit.  kisses

New Path

 Good Wednesday Morning.  The sun is on its way bringing familiar Summer Texas temperatures to triple digits.  I hear the few meet at the town diner for coffee and chit chat and early commuters pass by my little house.  I am starting a new job today.  Well, not just a new job but new kind of job.  I have been a nurse for oh, 20 some odd years, 24 actually I think.  I still remember nursing school with all the craziness, exhaustion, and excitement after passing each semester and finally getting my black striped cap and pin.  Nurses do not even get a hat anymore.  I was proud of my starched white dress with the puffy sleeves, white hose, polished white nursing shoes,  short perfectly trimmed fingernails with clear polish (no long or artificial nails allowed) , stiffly starched white nurses hat with the one black stripe across the top-bobby pinned very securely around the bun that held my long dark hair.   Physicians arriving at the nurses station would look for that hat knowing that only an RN wore them and would be qualified to assist in patient rounds.         I was blessed to start at a teaching hospital with lots of experienced nurses.  I have had to deal with patients in various states of disease, injury, end of life and just a multitude of situations nursing school did not even touch upon.  I learned a lot.  You never stop learning and just when you think 'you have seen it all'  you realize you haven't.  I do not even know how to begin to describe what it feels like to deal with some of the things I cannot even bring myself to talk about to anyone.  I lost count the first year of patients that passed away and never in my wildest dreams of wanting to be a nurse did I realize I would have to "get them ready" for the family to say their good byes.  Well, I gotta get ready for work, but not nursing.  I think at least for now I am kinda done with that.  Gotta keep moving forward and try new things.  Have a Hunky Dory Hump day.  kisses

Daydreams & Report Cards

Welp, it's Monday nite and I am watching Grimm, on my flat screen, digital TV with rabbit ears strategically placed at the moment on the floor.  Why I use rabbit ears I will save for another day.     I so enjoy this series. When I was a kid I had this super crazy imagination ( I know, hard to believe, right?) I would see an odd person in the grocery store and I just knew they were really a goblin, or alien from another planet sent to do some sort of mischief.  A really nice lady that smiled at me in Shopper's World and said something to my Mom was really a fairy making sure I was okay.  I cannot say I truly believed they were goblins, or fairies or creatures from beyond.  I just preferred to think it and make up elaborate scenarios that kept me busy and caused my grade school teachers to send home weekly notes "Stephanie, continues to day dream.  She does not take her studies seriously".   My adult children get a kick out of my handwritten heavy cardboard report cards.  My Mom, God bless her, saved them for me.  I went to grade school before computer print outs made students into a number and teacher comments in a school board approved legend on the right.   My teachers every year from 1st to 5th grade wrote out in various colors of ink and lucky for me, clearly legible cursive, "Stephanie, talks too much in class"    "Stephanie does not work up to her potential. Testing shows she can do much better".    They passed me on to the next grade with my imagination intact, my daydreams all mine and even though I did not ever take my studies all that seriously.  My teachers were all wonderful and God bless them for putting up with me.  Grimm is now over and almost time for bed.  I leave a light on in the hall, just in case my fairy needs to check on me...  Nite everybody.  Sweet dreams.  kisses

51

Holy Cow,  it is a hot, sweaty, sunny, Summer Saturday.  I have made myself comfortable on my sorta soft brown sofa, laptop on its name sake,  and central air conditioner doing what it does best.  I turned 51 a few months ago and aside from it feeling weird to say,  I am fine with it.  What causes me to feel the need to assess my psychological something or other is that I do not think I am ever gonna mature.  Now don't laugh, really.  When I look at other women my age they just seem so different from me, more, more, I don't know ... reserved, mature.  I thought turning 50 would bring on some kind of transformation in my overall behavior and how I react to life.  Now I am several months into 51 and nope, don't feel anything yet.  Well, don't think I want to spend all afternoon contemplating Psych 101. My id, ego and super ego will have to just go on winging it cause I gotta go jump in my pool nekked. Got a new hot pink swim doodle to try out.   Oopsey,  I mean-I am just wilting from the heat. My new one piece bathing suit, with the skirt needs breaking in and this rubber swim cap will protect my perm.    . Yeah, well,  nope, just can't .   Okay you guys,  skinny dipping at my house. Must be over 21 chronologically only !  kisses

Physical Fitness

Good Saturday Morning !  I was watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics last night.  So fun to watch all the different countries representing athletes march in and see what they are wearing and such.  I tend to be passive to a fault and therefore equally non-competitive but parts of the Olympics are still fun for me to watch.  I remember in grade school PE class had us complete the President's Physical Fitness program or award or something, I forget.  Coach Perry had us complete a series of skills that were either timed, measured or scored and shouted out to the entire gymnasium in such a way as to humiliate me every year.   I think I was the most unathletic girl at Flour Bluff.  The very hardest skill for me was the chin up.  The idea was to lift yourself up on a bar above your head and hold your chin over it.  The required time to pass for me may just as well have been forever.  I would tell Coach Perry,  "Okay, don't blink!" .  That was about how long it took me to grab that bar and at least give it a try.  I really did try and it was so embarrassing cause I just never had any upper body strength.  Coach Perry would shake her head and look down "Avery!"      "Sorry, Coach Perry"  I would say, "ya want me to try again?  I will if you want but it will be worse this time cause now my arms are tired."           Coach Perry, "From what? I could not even time you it was so fast."    Me "Well, I told ya not to blink."      I'm sure kids like me were very frustrating to her.  She really tried to instill in us how important it is to be physically fit.  I think I was fit I just could not hold myself up on the horrid, rusty, cold bar.  (If your reading this by some chance Ms. Perry-I did even then and now think you are the best!)    It is early morning now and the bicycle event is on.     Have a super happy, sunny Saturday everybody.  kisses

Tadpoles & Ditches

Hope you have a Fun Friday !  It is a sun shiny, dragonfly, butterfly and yellow jacket kind of day.  Rain seems to multiply the insects and we have gotten some much needed down pours lately.  What I miss about rain is the tadpoles.  I don't think I have seen a tadpole in years.  Growing up our neighborhood had open ditches so when it rained the standing water grew tadpoles and all kinds of wonderful things.  I felt sorry for kids in neighborhoods with those awful concrete sidewalks.  They really missed out!  Our ditches were wonderful places to play all the way up and down our street and on both sides.  Most driveways had concrete drain pipes we could sit in for shade.  Some ditches were covered in green grass, magical clover, and so many different colorful wildflowers it would take my breath away.  The ditches that were all white sand, like the beach, were the ones that got the most play. Using old cups, bottles and a little water,  sandcastle kingdoms complete with moats and crawfish for pretend crocodiles were a source of pride,  pieces of cardboard were great to slide down on and the occasional  tunnel kept us busy all summer.  The year a few of the bigger boys dug the best tunnel ever, most of us little rascals could fit in it,  we all got a crash course in physics.  Seems that for some reason the street above gave way and an unlucky, in the wrong place at the wrong time passing vehicle cratered our sand cave.  We all made ourselves scarce when the nice man from the city visited our parents.  The day has sure gotten away from me. Gotta run.  kisses

Dancing by Myself

I just looked at my facebook friends list-299.  I always say I don't know anybody but I only friend those I know.  Way cool !  The other way cool and super fine , feelin' groovy part to that is - all those 299 people had to friend me back to be on my list.  299 that is a big Wow to me.  If you asked me I would say I don't even know 299 people, much less feel like they are friends but I went thru the list-yep, yep, I know her,  I remember where I met him, Oh yeah- I remember you !  Towards the end of my marriage and after I had to make a conscious decision to do things with me, myself and I.  It took much determination for me to get out by myself.  The thought of growing old alone with no possibility of parole-oh no-not for me-it was time to suck it up and realize life is full of change and to be happy, do fun stuff and have new adventures well,  I have to make it happen.    I will never forget the first movie I went to alone-That remake with John Travolta and Christopher Walken-Hairspray.  It felt so awkward in line with all those couples and 'girls nite out' groups.  It was really weird looking for a seat.  I panicked and walked almost blindly and just sat in a seat.  I think it took a few minutes for me to even look around.  So silly when I look back on it but that was really a huge, gigantic, swallow my pride, just keep my head up and act like this happens every day, cause I can Do This moment.  When the kids were grown and I started to go out to adult places (neighborhood bar) it was the same thing but multiplied by about ten hundred million.  Once again , hold my head up, look people in the eye (even though I would never remember the face due to hysterical blindness) radiate confidence-some 5 years or so later here I am.  Going to movies, stopping for a cold one, hey I own the juke box!  I am having so much fun and have actually met new people and made new friends.  I even dance by myself cause I love to dance and usually when I do, others join in.  They were just waiting so they did not have to dance alone.  I am not waiting.  Have a Happy Thursday !  kisses



 

Garden Hose

Happy Hump Day !  It is a really nice day outside.  The sun is shinning and for some reason on this July day there is even a cool breeze.  I grew up just a mile or two from Padre Island and the Laguna Madre was practically my backyard.  The Gulf breeze blew everyday and open windows with blowing curtains were a common sight.  Front doors were only locked when you went out of town and you always knew all your neighbors names.   Us kids used to have so much fun walking along the water picking up hermit crabs and watching the water birds.  Our Mom's taught us basically not to talk to or get in the car with strangers but there were no strangers in Flour Bluff .  Everyone waved hello and usually with a smile.  Fortunate for my family we had a full time Mom.  She would have kool-aid parties most summer days in the hot afternoon for all the neighborhood kids.  Those paper cups with brightly colored  flavors of kool-aid even sported ice which was so welcome after drinking out of the garden hose all day.  I kind of chuckle to myself as I write that as now days a parent would probably be reported for child abuse for telling their kids to drink out of the hose.  Times change I guess.  Gotta get outside now.  Hope you got to drink out of a garden hose when you were a kid-Builds character!  kisses

Tied up Tuesday

It is an hour and a half into a new day, Wednesday!  So glad Tuesday is over.  It was a Tied up Tuesday for me.  I was tied up in knots all day.  I so wish I was in that club.  You know, the one that every one else seems to be in that gets it.  I am so tired of feeling like I am in over my head and not even knowing what it is I am in.  I am too sleepy to sit on this sofa and ponder the deeper issues of my very superficial interpersonal relationships so  Good Nite Everybody.  Have a Happy Wonderful Wednesday.  kisses

U Take Care of U

I think some of that relationship advice I have been reading is starting to sink in.   I really do not like emotional turmoil any more than confrontation and drama in my life is just about unheard of.   That is till recently.  I am learning.  I can be taught!!  I was just telling one of my girlfriends 'you take care of you'.  I say that to my girlfriends a lot cause women tend to take care of everyone except themselves.  There in is where so much of my downfall lies, or at least according to 'Why Men Love Bitches'.   I think for me it is a way to keep control of my world.  I crave stability and that being so I tend to keep relationships very casual.  I do not move in with men and I do not allow them to live with me.  Who does that benefit anyway?  The man of course and if he leaves what is left behind?  Possibly bills,  if I were living with him then it might mean I was suddenly homeless not to mention the sense of loss and loneliness.  It is just to easy for a man to up and ditch a woman that he is not married to with little to no consequences to him.  I kind of make a joke of saying 'no I love you's' but I really think most looking for love singles out there throw that word much to easy.  It is starting to dawn on me that all those commitment phobe men I hear women complain about have nothing over on me.  That being said, I still  find myself doing too much.  Well, no more of that.  I have really been sorting out what it is and what kind of relationship I want.   I am learning to say no, take care of me and it is my world.  Maybe get a plaque of that cause I think a tattoo would be a little over kill, ya think?