47 Year Wait

Happy church day, good morning Sunday, it's gonna be a beautiful day I just know it. April showers bring May flowers as the rhyme goes but apparently no one told the Bluebonnets, Indian Paintbrushes, Buttercups plus lots more. Our Texas roadsides, Rest Areas and rolling pastures are covered in natures endless variety of fragile geometric shapes decorated in brilliant bright primary colors, or soft pastels . Fibrous green stems hold tight while long shapely leaves, like arms do their best to stabilize God's handy work.  So looking at a hillside the ground is various shades of green with a continuous patchwork, similar to a well make quilt, of grouped wild flowers swaying and bowing as birds make bird noises in natures animated symphony. The wonderful world of color but not Disney.

When I was in fifth grade my best friend was Cindy Wilks. We were kindred spirits and instant friends. I don't remember how we met and only hung out that one school year. I think she moved away in junior high and I have not seen hide nor hair of her since.
Night Owls and a bit of a running wild stresk we both had parents that kept us in check. I loved spending the night at Cindy's house. We would dance and sing along to Donny and The Osmond Brothers 33 1/3 album on Cindy's portable record player and talk endlessly about boys. I was full grown by fourth grade( so embarrassing) but Cindy had not gotten her growth spurt yet and she was really little. I have a picture of us at my 11th birthday party and I looked like a giant.  By junior high that all changed-Thank God.
Anyway, it is so funny the stuff you remember! One  night we were up watching 'the late show'. That is what movies were called in the 1960's and early '70's that came on after the 10 o'clock news. Television was still mostly black and white and signed off every night with the National Anthem. No 24/7 programming like it is now. 3 network channels, ABC, CBS and NBC. Black horizontal and vertical lines rolling through the picture were a constant nuisance requiring the use of 'fine tuning' knobs or adjusting the rabbit ears antennae on top often with added foil as a signal booster. If you had a Mom like mine who was somewhat suspicious of this new technology and prone to they say 'isms' you were forced to watch the 6-12 inch screen a full six feet across the room as 'they say' the television emitted dangerous radiation and was only safe to watch six feet away.

So there we were, past midnight, in our babydoll pajamas, lounging in the radiation free zone watching Friday night's late show titled "Westward The Women".
Maybe we had the television turned a little to loud. We were totally into the movie on this adventure. It was a western about women, specifically mail order brides, traveling in 1850 by wagon train from Chicago to California.  These women all had a story. All different kinds of personalities, all ages, strengths and weaknesses. Some small and ladylike, others sturdy and no nonsense but every single one amazing and strong and determined. I was mesmerized. Then Cindy's Dad came in and turned it off.  Why did adults do stuff like that back then? It was so jarring. I felt empty inside and like I just had to know what became of those super duper wonderful  pioneer women. Did they make it to California? Were the men waiting for them? Were they good men? WHAT ??? So in my 10 year old head I decided I would never forget the title and make an effort to see the ending.
From that night till this I never forgot . I have watched many westerns but those Westward Women seemed to fall off the earth. I hoped the old film had not been forever ruined or destroyed. It is a mystery why it took so long but I finally caught it , late last night on my color television in the same black and white film. No vertical/horizontal knobs but I still use an antenna less the foil. It was just as wonderful as I remembered and the ending, just so you know Cindy Wilks-was worth the 47 year wait. On and on and so it goes. kisses


Movie Quote from Westward The Women
Patience Hawley: [to the awaiting bridegrooms] You can look us over, but don't think you're going to do the choosing! All the way from Independence, I've been staring at two things: one was this picture and the other was the rump of a mule... and don't ask me which was prettier!

Dallas

Morning has broken, Spring has sprung and it is a beautiful sunshiny Tuesday.  52 degrees here in south central Texas. Jackets worn to catch the school bus this morning will be stuffed in backpacks this afternoon. Fishing poles are out and ready to go as bluebonnets wave hello. I love living in the country.

I recently visited Dallas on business. Pulling in on I35 the skyline reminded me of a scene from the movie AI (Artificial Intelligence) . Haley Joel Osment and Jude Law fly into a futuristic city full of talking neon billboards. Apparently the future is here although I did not see any flying cars

 My Iphone camera is barely adequate but that purple sphere on the left was huge. It could have been a visiting spacecraft and yet no city folks could  tell me what it was or had any idea what I was talking about. The rental car was full of sorcery. Push a button to start an engine that idles without gasoline, a knob more suited to a kitchen appliance than for shifting gears just felt like blasphemy and the radio talked to me.    

       Good Grief ! Maybe I need to get out more.   While I think it is good to broaden our horizons. I  am happy to be back home . My old truck has a proper gear shift. A radio for me to listen to -not the other way around. And one highway through town lined with wild flowers not massive concrete walls. The
 moon and the stars are my favorite and familiar skylights. God blessed Texas. kisses

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It Is Not How Much You Love

Wake up rays of happy Sunday sunshine will soon and suddenly cause the inky blackness cloaking my small room to disappear into the place darkness goes or simply ceases to exist in the presence of light. My mind is stuck on pause from hours earlier picturing the table set up by the dance floor at my favorite neighborhood jukebox hangout. Select framed photos, familiar cowboy hat and boots. Glass vase full of assorted fresh white flowers as a memorial to help us say goodbye to a dear friend.
Lots of familiar, friendly folks and lonely, thirsty travelers passing by meet here daily with reasonable expectations of being around this time next year. Maybe yes, maybe no. Death is unpredictable and oh so final.
The spot at the end of the naturally stained tree trunk bar was puzzlingly empty for a little too long prompting a search for its occupant earlier this month.  Some friends found his body at home. His spirit having moved on the day before. I hope the passing from this life to the next was peaceful and painless.

I remember the first time the tall handsome, blue eyed cowboy spoke to me. I had been divorced a few years and this was my first time venturing out by myself, determined to meet new people. It was mid afternoon and it took all my courage to open that door. More than my eyes needing to adjust, anxiety, sorta akin to stage fright caused everything to be a blur and I wanted to bolt. Until thru tunnel vision I focused on the looming presence across the concrete floor. He looked right at me with a big country smile and said "Come on in, we don't bite. Unless your into that kind of thing".  I super duper appreciated him that day and as time passed even more so a few others.(stories for another time) Quick witted, always respectful and a truly authentic person. What you saw is what you got an attribute too rare these days.

I tune out the karyoke singer and tarry by the table. Running my fingers along the brim of his hat hoping to feel some part of his essence left behind. Something to fill the empty hollow space.  This place does not feel the same. This place will not be the same. Last night it was filled with friends and family all trying to cope. Kindred spirits united in our sorrow, our loss of acquaintance, neighbor, friend, family, love. I wonder if Mike would be surprised at all the fuss?  He was just a humble man with a good heart doing the best he could and we all felt it. Funny the difference one good heart can make. It matters not what we think of ourselves, our imperfections, regrets, good intentions matter not in the end. Only how we make others feel in our presence.

You see, it is not how much we love but how much we are loved..
"Weeping may last through the night but joy cometh in the morning " Psalm 30:5
Life is unpredictable and so very precious.
There is a new baby on the way I heard the other day. As it should be.
On and on and so it goes. kisses